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Home Security Tips


“Unusual home security tips that are borderline genius”

Crime is a daily reality for most South Africans. We are acutely aware of the potential dangers lurking behind every untrimmed bush and poorly lit corner. Many of us invest in alarm systems, electric fences and hope for the best.

When it comes to keeping our homes safe, we all feel like we could be doing more. Here are ten unusual tips that will make your home less attractive to criminals.

1) Buy some large (super manly) boots

For singletons or the elderly, giving the impression that a big burly man resides in your home is a simple and practical deterrent. Consider buying a pair of the largest men’s work boots you can find and leave within view from the street. You could even visit one of those shoe stores for giants and get a mammoth sized pair. For extra effect, make sure to shout goodbye and hello to your imaginary burly man when entering and leaving your home.

2) Your pet python needs signage

Even if you do not have a pet python, a thief would rather move on to an easier target than risk it. Criminals sometimes come prepared with dog treats or poison for homes with dogs, but pet snakes are a little less predictable, and absolutely terrifying.

3) Rent out a parking spot on your driveway

It may not be a viable option for every area, but if you live in a busy suburb, you may be able to make some money and improve your home security in one go.

4) Get a goose

Geese are highly territorial, make a huge noise and as an added bonus, will give you tasty eggs to enjoy. Geese have excellent hearing and are able to warn you well in advance if an intruder enters. For maximum home security effectiveness, get more than one.

5) Rub Vaseline on metal drainpipes

Thieves will use whatever they can to gain access to your home. By applying Vaseline (or any other similar lubricant) to your pipes, they will not be able to get enough grip to get up.

6) Hide your valuables in a can of paint

Or in a box of coco pops, anywhere that a thief wouldn’t bother looking. Typically, a criminal heads directly for the master bedroom in search of valuables. Your cluttered garage might be the perfect place to hide that irreplaceable heirloom ring. Added bonus points if you can allow a layer of dust to accumulate over the area.

7) Dust off your Nokia 3310 and that ancient desktop computer

Many criminals will check through windows to see if there are any worthwhile items to be stolen. By proudly displaying the oldest technology you can, you can be sure they will rather head for a home that isn’t stuck in the 90’s. This tip only works if you can tuck away your flat screen and other devices.

8) Make a decoy safe in an obvious place

When it comes to making a decoy safe, you can go all out. Buy a safe that looks reasonably tough; install it in your bedroom in a relatively obvious place. Fill it with some realistic looking costume jewellery and any items that look like realistic fakes. That Fau-lex you bought? Perfect for the fake safe! In the event of a burglary, the thieves will expend their energy on the fake safe and your real valuables, that you hid in a more original location, will be safe.

9) Learn to love talk radio

We have all heard the advice to leave lights and televisions on timers when we are not home, but a cheaper and load shedding proof option is to leave a small battery operated radio tuned into a talk station. By having a constant soundtrack of voices it will seem as though people are home.

10) Join your neighbourhood Facebook group

It’s common sense to develop relationships with your immediate neighbours. But did you know that an active Facebook group is a potential goldmine of safety information? We are social creatures, for good reason. If your neighbourhood doesn’t have an active Facebook group, start one yourself. These groups provide invaluable warning as to the current kinds of crimes happening around you.

Staying safe these days requires a bit of ingenuity. Use some of these tips to add to your home security, and sleep a little more soundly at night. Unless an intruder breaks in; in which case your guard geese will make one hell of a noise.